Archive | February, 2012

First Kiss

6 Feb

Image: Suat Eman /

In my continued theme of “I’ll write whatever strikes my fancy,” here’s a topic to consider:

How much of a predictor for relationship success is a first kiss?

This is something I’ve pondered through my own personal experience as well as wondering about my kids’ impending dating adventures. I can only hope that they encounter some talent in this department, although I’m sure I’ll not hear about it from them…they are both pretty private.

Just like a firm handshake, a first kiss makes quite an impression. Flub it and you have the equivalent of the limp handshake or the overly exuberant arm-pump. Both turnoffs, at different ends of the spectrum.

Beautiful or not, every woman or man has an opportunity to gain interest and respect through that kiss, or to be written off completely. Suffice it to say that I can count the men I’ve kissed on one hand. We are not looking at a sufficient sample size here to draw any conclusions. So I know that this is nowhere near scientific.

Nevertheless, I have observed some things about technique–some of which have little to do with the kissing part of the kiss:

1. It is best to ask permission before a first kiss.

2. A first kiss should not be a suction experience. Keep the vacuum cleaners in the closet, at least for the time being.

3. There must be some level of sophistication to it. It should begin and end subtly with something thoughtful in between. Nothing too fancy. Stick to the basics.

4. Don’t rush things. That could leave a bad taste in the mouth. This is not a race. Or a marathon. Think of it as a test run. You will be moving at a fair pace and not belaboring the point. You are “testing the waters” and not overdoing it.

For the record, the man that I married was the most talented. And still is, from what I recall of the competition.